The Love of Learning

Just as the title implies, I have a very deeply rooted love for learning new things. My first love will always be music, even though we disagree at times. I am choosing to pursue a career in Theatre, but nothing can calm my mind more than playing the piano for a short time. The reason piano is most emotionally soothing for me is because I feel zero obligations to be good at it. Bettering myself is something I want to do, instead of something I feel pressured to do by my teacher. Don't get me wrong, making progress with a teacher is an amazing feeling, but on piano, the only person I have to please is myself.

On a related note, one of the hardest things I've learned in the last few years was to be truly happy with who I am, both physically and emotionally. Growing up, and even into my first few years in college, I never once thought of myself as attractive. I was just that skinny quiet kid who never did much. Not trying to gain sympathy, just being honest. As I aged more went through my first relationship, I started to open my eyes to unique things about myself that I liked(If you read this, thank you for that). My long eyelashes. That weird thing that my chin does. But it wasn't until my first dance class that I really started to love my body for what it is and what it can do. That class was ballet, ironically. I say ironically, because so much of ballet is perfect technique, and precise movements. In watching professional dancers, I saw them do things that I couldn't dream of doing due to physical limitations like my bad shoulder. In class though, I realised that I was being unfair to myself, so I started to relax and appreciate the things I can do well. Even though I don't exercise, I have fairly strong legs. That led to me getting a good height (that's ballon for you other dance geeks).

As for the emotional aspect, it took me years to learn how to love myself. How to let myself fail. How to accept a compliment without second guessing the one who compliments. I think a part of that has to do with figuring out who I am. I am a complete man who has many wonderful things to bring into friendship, and especially relationships. I still have hang-ups here and there, but on the whole I'm now confident enough to think I would be a compliment rather than a detriment to someone else.

Now religion, that's a different matter altogether. Having grown up seeing the vicious behavior of so called "righteous" people, I didn't go to church growing up. No, it goes farther than that. I had zero spiritualism of any sort. These last few years, being so full of self discovery, had opened my eyes to the beauty of faith. Now before you jump to conclusions, I don't identify myself as a Christian, nor do I identify with any other single religion. This sounds sort of picky, but I've followed a more personal path, and in doing so have gathered bits and pieces from different religious belief systems that I try to implement in my own life. I believe in karma, an afterlife (though not really the idea of a Heaven and Hell), spirits, and really the list could go on. But I can sum all of that up in one phrase: "I am happy with what I believe." As simple as that is, it amazes me to see people from almost every faith who feel that their religion is better than my apparent lack of one. All I ask is that people live and let live. Everyone has there own journey, and who are you to say how they should undergo it?

I'm sorry this has gotten so lengthy, but these are just some of the thoughts that have been buzzing around my head lately. I just needed to write them down somewhere. Thanks to all of you for your support!

Love,
Joey